I was one those mothers who kept my children in our matrimonial bed in their early ages. It is an unpopular practice in North America- but it worked for us. So, by the time we have to train my second child, Isobelle, to sleep by herself, it was extremely challenging – especially since she was a “clingy” child who would not leave my side the moment she saw me. She was like my shadow. I would have to stay beside her until she slept, and leave afterwards. The funny thing was that she would wrap her legs around my leg as a way for her to know if I attempt to leave her side. Most nights, I was able to leave her but she would wake up, barge into my bedroom, and I would put her back to bed again. This cycle would occur three to four times a night. Needless to say, Isobelle and I were exhausted most days. I said to myself, this has got to stop!!! So, I planned to have a serious talk with her.
One night, I sat her down on her bed and asked her what she was scared of that she could not sleep by herself. She said with tears in her eyes, “Mommy, I am scared of the dark and of the monsters who would get me when you’re not with me.” I gave her a hug and reminded her that Jesus is always watching over her. She looked around the room and replied, “I can’t see him mommy.” I held her hand and said, “Jesus, will never leave you.” Again, she looked around, more intently this time as if trying to find something, and said, “Mommy, I can’t see him.” Once again, I reminded her saying, “Jesus will never leave you. He is always by your side, and He will always protect you.” Once again, she looked around, now with frustration in her face not seeing what she wanted to see. But this time, after scanning the room, she looked at me intently and her face beamed. The same facial expression I always see when she gets a surprise present from mommy and daddy. She jumped at me and said, “Mommy, are you Jesus?”
I could not help but burst into laughter. That night, our nightly routine continued. As I came back into my bed after I put my daughter to sleep, I reflected on her question, “Mommy, are you Jesus?” Am I reflecting who Jesus is? Am I obedient to His teachings? Am I representing who He is – His wisdom, His meekness, His humility…HIS character? That night, I found myself on my knees repentant about those times that I was the total opposite of who Jesus is and I prayed for the indwelling of the Holy Spirit to allow me to live a life that is only possible through HIS enablement.