I always imagined I would be married with children by the time I turned 30. Then life happened. Now I find myself 30-something and unmarried. I never expected to be here. It seems as though everyone around me is engaged or married. And while I’m genuinely happy for them, I can’t help but wonder when it will be my turn.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from experience, it is that God’s timing is perfect even when it doesn’t align with the timeline I set for myself. One of my favorite stories in the Bible is the story of Ruth and Boaz. Ruth was married at a young age, as was custom in that time. I am sure her and her husband had many plans for their future – to have a family and grow old together – but things did not go as they expected. Tragically, her husband died. Instead of running back home to her people, Ruth made the decision to go with her mother-in-law Naomi to Judah, which was Naomi’s hometown. She told Naomi, “Your people will be my people and your God my God.” (Ruth 1:16) Ruth started a new job working in the fields and she “happened to come to the field belonging to Boaz.” (Ruth 2:3). Boaz spotted her and the rest is history.
The story of Ruth contains so many valuable lessons for singles waiting on God for a spouse. After finding herself older and single, Ruth did not sit around feeling sorry for herself or comparing herself to all the married people around her. She spent her time seeking God, cultivating relationships with people and working; and God blessed her.
We singles who desire to be married should follow Ruth’s lead and make the most of our single season. Here are a few ways I’ve been doing so in mine:
- Spending time with God in prayer is an important part of the Christian life, whether married or single, as it helps to deepen our relationship with Him. As Jesus says in Matthew 6:33, “Seek first the Kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” In my daily time of prayer, I include a prayer asking God to prepare me to be a wife and to prepare my future husband.
- Reading the Bible regularly allows me to hear from God and to saturate myself in His truth. The Word reminds us that our worth and satisfaction is not found in any human relationship, rather, our worth and satisfaction comes from God. I make it a point to read scripture concerning marriage, like Proverbs 31 and Ephesians 5, in order to understand what a Godly relationship should look like.
- In Genesis 2:18, God says, “It is not good for man to be alone.” God designed us to live in community. Being single does get lonely at times, so it’s important to surround yourself with people you care about. I meet with my Life Group at least once a week. My Life Group has been such a blessing. We do life together. We pray, laugh and cry and we support each other.
- As singles, we have more free time than our married counterparts to get involved in serving. Serving is both rewarding and fulfilling. I’ve been serving in church and outside of church. I’ve even had the opportunity to go on a mission trip to Uganda, which was a life-changing experience.
- As a single, now is the time to focus on improving yourself. If there’s areas in your life that you are not satisfied with, be it your health, finances, education, career or relationships, now is the time to focus on these things. I’ve been taking courses, I’ve joined the gym and I’m also seeing a Christian counselor.
I’ll admit it’s not always easy waiting on God’s timing but I believe at His appointed time I’ll meet my Boaz. Now, waiting no longer feels like waiting because I’m busy living and enjoying the full life He has blessed me with.
How have you been making the most of your single season? Share in the comments below.